The Secret of Staying Around

Jeff Huntshire, a new pastor in the area, opened the rear door of the fellowship hall of the parson's church. He stepped out in the yard and paused a moment to observe the parson at his labor.

The parson had the two deep fry pans from the church's regional fair concession stand propped up, one on each side, on a large charcoal grill, the kind with the cover over the grill portion. The parson was scrubbing mightily on one of the pans with a scouring pad.

“Parson, you're really putting a mighty effort into that,” said Jeff.

“Hello, Jeff,” said the parson. “It's good to see you. What brings you into this part of the woods.” Jeff was a new pastor who decided to enter the ministry while a member of a church where the parson was pastor. He had been ordained just a few months ago and appointed to as Associate Pastor at a church an hour's ride to the west of the parson's parish.

“I'm heading up to Frank Collins' cabin in the mountains. You remember Frank. He was in that seminar you conducted back in February.”

“I do,” said the parson. “Didn't the bishop appoint him to a church near Augusta?”

“That's him,” said Jeff. “Anyway his family has this cabin up the way a bit. I'm meeting him there and we're going to do some hiking. Want to come?”

“I wish I could,” said the parson, “but I'm a bit tied up with things this week.”

“Looks like you're really tied up with this cleaning,” said Jeff.

“Aw, it's not as bad as it looks. The grease has just been baked on a bit. But if you know the tricks of the trade you can get it done.”

With that the parson opened the hood of the grill. He pulled out an aerosol can of industrial strength oven cleaner. He sprayed it all over the pan he wasn't scrubbing. Having done so, he replaced the canister under the grill cover. He directed a stream of water over the container he'd just scrubbed, occasionally using the scouring pad on specific spots. He then took a towel and dried it completely. After inspecting it he set it aside on a small table to the left.

Now the parson began scrubbing the second container. As he did so he and Jeff kept up a steady stream of conversation about Jeff's new appointment, the appointments of common acquaintances, and general church matters.

The parson rinsed the second container off with the hose. He inspected it. He then opened the cover of the grill again and removed the oven cleaner. This time he directed the spray at specific places on the container. He let it sit a moment and then began scrubbing again, but only after placing the oven cleaner under the cover again.

“You know, Parson,” said Jeff, “if I didn't know better I'd think you're trying to keep that oven cleaner hidden.”

The parson smiled. “Ah, Jeff, you've discovered the secret of my longevity in this parish.”

Jeff wrinkled his brow. “I don't understand.”

“Look, Jeff,” said the parson, “preachers are a dime a dozen. But effective pot scrubbers are hard to find.”