About The Meeting

Dear Church Superior:

As you know I am not a big fan of church denominational meetings. Your knowledge of this, I know, is often refreshed by my not being present for gatherings you have ordained as a necessity. I must say that over the years I’ve come to appreciate your endeavors to encourage me to participate in these gatherings of the set apart. And I confess I have been, from time to time, somewhat amused at your consternation over the perks that come from my exalted status of being retired and somewhat, or at least I like to think, beyond the reach of severe reprimand.

Having stated my, let’s say age-induced, aversion to these meetings, I do want you to know that today’s meeting was an exception. It was really superb, beyond reproach. I do not recall any incidence of superfluous chatter during the course of the gathering; everyone stayed on task; the agenda was not an impediment but a roadmap toward a rapid and decisive conclusion to all the matters before the assembled. We need more meetings like the one we had today.

 I have to be honest with you, however. I almost missed the meeting. Had it not been for a conscientious layperson, who, in greeting me after the morning service, asked, “Where is the meeting this afternoon?” I would have hopped in my car and headed home to watch the NCAA Women’s Softball Championships without interruption.

In response to her inquiry I put forth one of my own: “What meeting?”

“The meeting for the pastors and delegates to the conference?”

“That’s today?”

“That’s what I have on my calendar.”

With the quickness of mind and nimbleness of feet of a man half my age, I quickly made my way to the computer and with the agility of a computer systems specialist I accessed the organization calendar. Imagine my consternation when I saw the meeting on the calendar. Imagine the reflection of loyalty to your request that I, at least, attend this particular meeting each year when I told that layperson I would meet her at the appointed place.

I went home to grab a quick bite to eat. Then I checked the Google Maps to determine the traveling time to the event. I thought it might please you to see me arrive early for once. And I did arrive early, but not as early as the lay delegate. She was waiting. She was the only one waiting. There was no one else at the meeting. I was confused. She was confused that I was confused.  

I am a man of the Twenty-first Century. I whipped out my iPhone and once again accessed the organizational calendar online. There it was. The meeting was scheduled for the time and place I stood. But wait; now I saw it! The meeting was also designated as being scheduled for one week from the time and at the same place I stood. Ah, ha! The meeting is listed two times.

I call your attention to the opening of this epistle. I stated the meeting went well. It did. Remembering an often forgotten but extremely important rule buried in the pages of our governing documents, the lay person and I proceeded. That rule is the one that states: “A quorum is those present and voting.”  In light of that I need to inform you the meeting on the calendar for next week is cancelled. The vote was unanimous.

Comments

[CurtisGrissett]

Parson, There you go again being one step ahead of me. Yesterday, as I was leaving church, the pastor asked me if I were going to the delegates' meeting for our conference, I informed him of my exalted status by saying "No!" Then he asked me to go in his place, to which I said, "What part of 'No' do you not understand." And to think I almost came to your church, I would have enjoyed see you "dash." Peace, Curtis

[Wayne Cook]

If only more meetings could be conducted like this one.

[MMP]

i almost choked

never reading this again with a mug of coffee in my hands............

THANK YOU!