Reclined on the sofa might not be the correct description of the parson’s position. “Sprawled” would be a more accurate. The computer was off. The desk in the study was cleared of all priority work. The blinds were closed. The parson was dozing.
Ring! Ring!
The parson forced himself out of the haze of his nap. He hurriedly looked about the room for the phone. It was nowhere to be found, and, yet, it kept ringing. The answering machine kicked in, “You have reached ....” droned the parson’s voice to the caller from the chip on which his voice was recorded. The parson turned toward his own voice coming from the machine. Ah! No wonder the phone could not be found it was resting contentedly in its base.
“Hello,” said the parson over his own voice still droning on from the machine. “Hold on a second.” Soon the recorded message finished. The parson clicked a button to prohibit the conversation from being recorded.
“Hello,” the parson said again. “I’m sorry about that.”
“That’s okay,” said the voice the parson instantly recognized as belonging to Thelma Howard, an ancient member of the congregation.
“Hello, Thelma,” said the parson. “It’s good to hear your voice. To what do I owe the pleasure.”
“I’m not calling about anything pleasurable, Parson. But I feel compelled to confront you with some things.”
The parson returned to the sofa, propping his bare feed on the armrest of one side and his head on a small cushion on the other. “You need to confront me, Thelma. Gracious, this sounds serious.”
“Some people may not think so, Parson, but I do.”
“What’s on your mind, Thelma?”
“I passed the church this afternoon and you were changing the sign.”
The parson started to say something, but Thelma gave him no break in her recitation.
“I was shocked to see my pastor in shorts, a t-shirt, and barefooted at the church.”
Once again the parson started to say something, but Thelma was on a rant.
“Are you going to think I’m an old fogey? she asked, but before an answer could be considered she continued. “On top of that I came by a little later and you had put ‘If life were fair onions would cure bad breath.’ on the sign. That’s just not appropriate. The sign should be used as a witness, an evangelism tool that speaks to the people passing by.”
The parson said nothing.
“Parson?”
“Thelma?”
“So did you hear me?”
“I did.”
“What’s your response?”
“My response to every single one of your questions, Thelma, is ‘yes.’!
Comments