I Did Ask For Directions!

The parson promised to take Ms. Parson and the parson’s stepson on a vacation. Stepson was given the choice of destination. Stepson chose a location that was not on the parson’s “Ten Places I Most Want to Visit” list. But the choice was delegated to another.

And so it was on a Sunday on a Sunday in which mothers were acknowledged, the parson pronounced the benediction, hung up the robe, jumped in the car and prepared to head for the selected destination.

“Do you have the address?” the parson asked Ms. Parson.

She promptly demonstrated her unique ability to anticipate the parson’s every need by immediately handing him a note card on which was printed the address. The parson proceeded to follow the directions provided for the new GPS device he’d purchased the day before. 

A woman’s voice sounded from within the device saying, “Turn right.”

The parson did.

“Go five miles and turn right,” she said.

The parson drove five miles. Just before the distance was covered the voice warned, “In point eight miles turn right .... turn right in point two miles ... turn right.”

The parson demonstrated to the two occupants of his car his quickly acquired ability to get directions from an unknown female and to follow them. He turned right.

The voice said, “Go forty-six miles and go left.”

The parson, being a man well adapted to the modern way, followed precisely the directions of this woman through various turns and twists, through interjections of the woman at every stop for food or fuel, “Recalculating.” and through several states for twelve hours.

The voice said, “Turn left in point two miles.”

The parson did.

The voice said, “Go point five miles to destination on right.”

The parson did. At the destination the parson stopped. It was a vacant lot.

“Well, this is strange,” said Ms. Parson.

The parson was not intimidated by this predicament. He drove the car a mile down the road through the dark, dark, unfamiliar country, stopped and reprogrammed the source of the female direction giver. 

“Turn left and go one mile to destination.”

The parson did. The parson arrived back at the vacant lot.

One hour and thirty-two minutes later the parson silenced the voice, whose directions he had followed so precisely across a good portion of the country. But never fear, this modern parson stopped at a I-Hop and asked the waitress for directions. Forty-seven minutes later he arrived at the destination.

The next morning, late the next morning, the parson and Ms. Parson stopped by the Registration Office of the resort. 

“Hope you trip here was good,” said the lady at the desk.

“Actually,” said the parson, we had a bit of trouble finding the place.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, “well, I see you did.”

“When I put the address you sent me with the packet into my GPS device,” the parson said, “it directed me to a vacant lot on the other side of town.”

“That happens,” she informed the parson, “to a lot of people. Been happening for a couple of years.”

“Why does it happen to a lot of people?”

“Because that address in the packet is not correct.”

The parson paused a moment. He rubbed his eyes with intensity to assure himself he had not fallen asleep during an Administrative Council meeting.

“If the address is not correct on the information, why don’t you change it?”

“I assure you, sir,” she told the parson, “we are having meetings about that this week.”

Comments

[willy]

And... what guvmint resort was this?

[Linda]

this made me laugh

[Curtis Grissett]

Dear Parson,
My daughter gave me a GPS for Christmas but because being hearing challenged, I had to use a male voice. I thought I knew the shortest way back to the parsonage but I thought I would give the GPS a try. I was on the next to last road, the GPS said turn left at Quaker Knob. I did, went about a mile, it said , turn right but it was a field. Going on, it said turn around, I did. then it said turn left but it was the same field. I gave up. It has been very useful but sometime it just gets things wrong. Peace, Curtis Grissett