Caught Dead In the Church

The parson was changing the sign in front of his church. He turned at the sound of a horn honking behind him. Turning he discovered a car had pulled into the parking lot and now was in the space almost directly behind him. The parson held up his hand extending one finger to indicate he’d be with the driver in one minute.

He completed adding the letters to the last word, climbed down from the ladder, and headed toward the car. As he did so, Clarence Sawyer, one of the pastors in the area exited the vehicle and headed toward him. The met halfway and shook hands. 

“Come on in, Clarence,” the parson invited.

“Only for a minute, Parson,” said Clarence. “I’ve got to be at the hospital in a few minutes. But I stopped to ask you about something.”

The parson led Clarence to his study. Clarence declined an offer of refreshment. Each too a seat, the parson in his rocker and Clarence on the sofa.

“So what’s up?” asked the parson.

“I’ve got a funeral tomorrow and I’m really conflicted about how to handle it.”

The parson made no comment. He waited for Clarence to continue.

“The fellow who died is technically a member of the church. But as far as I know he hasn’t been to church since he graduated from high school.”

“I have a few of his friends on the roll here,” the parson commented. 

“The thing is, Parson,” Clarence said leaning forward, “I cannot convince myself he was a Christian. I mean he’s baptized and such, but, like I say, he hasn’t set foot in the church nor done anything of a religious nature that I can determine that would be considered religious.”

The parson now leaned forward, toward Clarence, smiled and said, “Clarence, you’re going to encounter a lot of this during your ministry.”

“I may encounter it, but I really am having trouble accepting it. I mean, here’s this fellow who virtually turned his back on his faith. Now true, he didn’t commit any crimes or beat his wife or anything, but he was not a Christian.”

“This is really upsetting you,” the parson observed.

“What really chaps me, Parson, is that the family is insisting the service be conducted in the church.” Clarence shook his head from side to side. “He wouldn’t come to church when he was alive, but now that he’s dead the family is dragging his dead body back to church.”

The parson smiled some more. “I think you hit the key word there, Clarence.”

“The keyword?”

“Yes, the operative word here is ‘dead.’ The man’s dead Clarence. I doubt he gives little of a hoot as to where the service is conducted. And, just to ease some of your anxiety, I also doubt he gives a hoot what you say or don’t say about him. He’s dead, Clarence.”

“But the family wants the service in the church, Parson.”

“And since you’re willing to acknowledge that the man in dead, Clarence, you should be able to figure out who this service is really for.

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Comments

[teri]

AMEN!

[Linda]

exactly!