The parson was eating a plate of cholesterol for lunch at the town’s (in?)famous dirty spoon. The hole in the wall was located near the courthouse where he’d been lobbying for some exercise classes for seniors at the recreation center. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look.
“Howdy, Parson, what brings you into the land of the politicians?”
It was Ryan Spencer, a member of the church. Ryan was never without an opinion.
“Ryan, good to see you,” said the parson. “Pull up a chair and join me.”
“I can’t, Parson. I have to get these papers filed at the Clerk’s office pretty quick.” Before the parson could respond Ryan slid into the booth opposite. “Look, I saw you in here and I just wanted to stop in and let you know I have a little bone to pick with you.”
“What’s that, Ryan?” asked the parson.
“Well, Parson, you know on the Sundays that we have communion you print that, that, ah ... you know that thing that starts with ‘The Lord be with you.’”
“The Great Thanksgiving,” the parson offered.
“Oh, is that what’s it’s called. ‘The Great Thanksgiving’, I’ll have to remember that. Anyway, I’ve noticed that you make some punctuation errors in it.”
“It was probably a typo I didn’t catch, Ryan,” suggested the parson.
“I don’t think so, Parson. You do it every time.”
“What do I do?”
“You never capitalize when it speaks of Jesus. I mean you have stuff in there that says things like ‘On the night he was betrayed’ and you don’t capitalize ‘he’. I think you’re supposed to capitalize any reference to Jesus.”
The parson stared across the table at Ryan. He took a bite of his lunch and a sip of his coffee. “Is there anything else I should be conscious of?” he asked.
“Oh, no. Look, Parson, I’ve got to go.” He slid out of the booth and stood beside the parson. “Except for that, Parson, I think you’ve done a really admirable job. There’s nothing else that bothers me. I’ll see you Sunday.”
The parson watched Ryan walk out the door and across the street to the clerk’s office. He thought of Ryan’s last observation. Damn, thought the parson, I must be slipping in my old age.
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bwahahahha!
The best part is, I remove the capital letters at every opportunity--and since we put our hymn words on a screen, I have lots of opportunity. :-) It drives people nuts, and I love it.
Posted by: teri | April 02, 2009 at 12:13 AM
I solve that problem by referring the people only to the responses in Word and Table III. Most of the regulars have the responses pretty well memorized so we get greater participation that way.
Posted by: Wayne | April 02, 2009 at 09:37 AM