Three rectangular tables had been lined up end to end for the Administrative Council meeting. The parson sat a corner end next to the Chairperson who was sitting at the end. The meeting had gone exceptionally well. The parson had not needed to make any comments, rather he sat and watched one group after another present their proposals to the council. Everything had gone smoothly. And then ....
The Finance Committee was sponsoring a Bean Supper in two weeks. The purpose was to raise some funds in anticipation of future expected ministry needs to the community. The Bean Supper had been decided on as the easiest to put together in a short period of time.
The planning meeting of the Finance Committee had gone smoothly. The menu had quickly been set, the duties had been assigned, the complete agenda had been covered in less than an hour. Tonight the committee was presenting the details to the council because, in such a small congregation, everyone was needed to help.
“I’m looking at your menu,” said Lois Rebut, “this is going to difficult to get ready.”
“What do you mean?” asked Betty Wright, the woman who’d planned the menu.
“Well, you have these beans and they are going to have to cook from hours, and on top of that we’ll need to have quite a few people preparing the potatoes. That’s going to take ...”
Betty interrupted. “Actually, Lois, we discussed that and we’re going to make the potato salad with instant potatoes.”
“Instant potatoes! You’re going to use instant potatoes. I’ve never heard of such a thing,” interjected Margaret Pompey. “Instant potatoes. How are you going to make potato salad with instant potatoes?”
“I tell you one thing,” said Alice Tassley, “Serene Chapel Beside the Flowing Stream had potato salad at their fund raising supper last month, and the potato salad was the hit of the evening. People were raving about it.”
“I know,” said Betty, “we’re using their recipe. They used instant potatoes.”
“They did not!” insisted Alice. “I had two helpings. Those were not instant potatoes.”
“Those were instant potatoes,” said Betty not the least bit intimidated. “Do you want me to tell you how they prepared them?”
“I do not,” said Alice. “I don’t need to know how they prepared them because I’m not going to eat any instant potato salad.”
“Well, you did down at Serene Chapel.”
Linda Swiftly entered the conversation. “I think Alice has a point, folks. If we advertise potato salad people are going to be expecting real potatoes.”
“That may be true,” said Edward Daring, “but the purpose of the supper is to make some money for our ministries. Instant potatoes will help accomplish that.”
The parson sat at the table watching the room divide into the real potatoes and the instant potatoes camps. Back and forth they went. Betty finally retreated into her seat and became silent. Edward took her her battle. Within no time at all the room was fairly equally divided. Only the Chairperson and the parson remained outside the fray. When the meeting was pushing the second hour the parson tapped the Chairperson on his arm and made a sign of cutting his throat.
“Ah, folks,” said the Chairperson, “it appears we are not going to resolve this tonight. So I’m going to appoint Betty and Edward Alice and Linda to pick a time to get together and work this out. Now, let’s all stand and we’ll be dismissed with the Parson’s blessing.”
Everyone stood and bowed their heads. The parson spoke words to the Lord asking the Lord’s blessing on the church, thanking the Lord for the opportunity to serve. The parson ended his prayer with an additional petition to the God of Peace: “Dear God, we pray that you will further bless this church’s ministry to others by bringing to a swift conclusion The Potato War! Amen.”
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