Annual Report Supplement

Dear Church Superior:

Please take note. It is 8:44 PM on Thursday. I have just hit the submit button on my End-Of-Year Report for 2008 containing Table I, Table II and Table III. I have noted the time to call your attention the fact that this report is in early this year. Considering the fact the deadline is Saturday at midnight, please note I am a little over fifty-one hours early. No, no, don't send me a thank you note. It was my joy to surprise you.

I am sending you once again this supplement to the report, however. As I have expressed in previous years Table I and Table II and Table III are nothing more than a statistical report on how much and how many, i. e., how many people join, how many died, how much did they give, and how much did we spend. These tables then, in all due respect, contain only the minutia of the life of this church. There is no reflection on either Table I or Table II or Table III as to the real ministry of this congregation. [By the way, have you noted that we didn't add Table III until these reports were done on computers?]

There was no place on either Table I or Table II or Table III to report on Jane, Bobby, Larry, Mary, or any of the other scores of children who came to our church on the Saturday before school began. These children had been sent to us by the school system family advocates because their families were destitute. Here's what happened when they got there: each got a new book bag that was compliant with the school regulation; each got enough school supplies to last them through a significant portion of the year; each got a set of new clothes (by new I mean new, these were not castoffs); each child was examined by a school nurse; each child was checked for lice, and, if lice were detected they received free treatment, and if lice were not detected they were taken to the beauty salon across the street from the church where the boys got a haircut and the girls got a hair styling.

Additionally, there was no place on either Table I or Table II or Table III to report that this congregation which had been renting the parsonage, as I do not utilize it, decided to no longer rent it but to transform it into a transitional house. Our friend Sarah is now living there with her two daughters and one son. We have arranged for Sarah to be enrolled in the local Vocational College. We have made sure all these children had a good Christmas. We have provided birthdays for each of them. We have recruited advocates for them in the local schools and tutors for their lessons. And we have members of the financial sector of the community helping Sarah learn to make a budget. Another is taking her shopping on a regular basis to teach her how to shop wisely and provide for her family's nutritional needs.

I wish somewhere on Table I or Table II or Table III there had been a place to tell you about Jackie. If you remember Jackie, who is the head nurse of the local hospital emergency room, is on our missions team. This past year the church provided the expenses for Jackie to fly to Peru with some other staff from the hospital. Once there she quickly received lessons in how to paddle a log canoe which she quickly mastered just in time to row down the Amazon River with her little canoe filled with supplies. After a long day on the water her team then hiked through the jungle carrying everything on their backs for miles in order to reach the isolated village that was their goal. At the village broken limbs were set, wounds were cleansed, medicines for a variety of illnesses were dispensed, and many, many dental problems were addressed. In addition, this little congregation made arrangements for the villagers to have a solar powered I-pod type device which contained the gospels in the villagers own tongue.

Speaking of Peru, neither Table I or Table II or Table III provided a place to mention that this small congregation is the main support of Ash and Audra McEuen, missionaries to Peru. Nor could was there a place on those Tables to mention our congregation provided them with all the luggage for their move to Peru, we were the place of their Consecration Service, we provided the housing for them as they waited transportation to their mission field.

The story of Denise Green couldn't fit onto either Table I or Table II or Table III. She's the lady that stopped by the church twice during the year. She was in a broken down Dodge Minivan. She said she didn't have any gas and she needed some food. Our ushers didn't shoo her away. Our ushers didn't come running to the pastor. One of them jumped in his car and had her follow him to the gas station. After her tank was full she followed him to the grocery store where he bought her a week's grocery. He had to hurry in order to get back in time to take up the offering, but he did. And he put a report on what had been done in the plate so we'd know our church had helped someone. The last time Denise came by was one Wednesday night when the Trustees were meeting. This time it was her radiator and once again some food. We were kind of pressed for time that night, so Jim, you remember Jim – the electrician, gave her a couple of twenties. Bob Gordon asked Jim if he thought Denise might spend the money on booze. Jim told Bob he was just doing what the Lord would want him to do and if she spent it on booze it was God's problem.

I checked Table I and Table II and Table III really close. I was looking for a line to report on the small house on that adjacent property we bought. You remember we were renting that also. Well, the folks decided we could dig a little deeper into our own pockets to come up with that amount of money. And since we could, that house has been converted into a community youth center. There was no line to report these things.

Where do we report the plans for the homeless shelter? Where do we report the nights spent sitting with folks in the hospital? Where do we report the smiles on little girls' faces when they get their first (“Oh, look, Mommy, this is new! It still has the tags on it!) new set of clothes? Where do we report Sarah's new dignity? Where do we report that in this church the three pews closest to the chancel are filled with children and youth? In fact, where do we report ministry?

Well, anyway, please accept this supplement to our report. Frankly, Tables I and II and III give you absolutely no indication of what's going on at this church, other than the fact that we're in debt because we're in ministry.

Thanks for the time, and please, when you church superior types are sitting in that conference room talking about the churches and they come to our little congregation, tell the others to put away Table I and Table II and Table III, and then you tell them what being a church is all about.

Grace and peace,

Your not too humble, Parson.

Graphic by Church Art Pro

Comments

[Wayne]

Seems we major in the minors and elevate the trivial. Perhaps more of us should include a supplement to the year-end reports. Thanks.

[rev mommy]

And Amen, Brother.

I posted something about this as well.

[Beach Walkin]

You sooooo totally inspire me. I love reading your posts.

Thanks for your post. Having just hit "Submit" myself for my annual statistical reports, I appreciate the dearth of true spiritual information collected by the "Church." Perhaps if we spent more time counting lives changed versus people sitting in the pews or money changing hands we would cease to be a declining denomination.